The Spying Narcissist

 Al Ritter

Anyone who has come in contact with a Narcissist knows the terms, gaslighting, devaluing, grandiosity, and projection. Projection is what I want to address today. Normally the narcissist will project their own short comings on you. As one person said once, “An accusation from a narcissist is actually a confession.”

How many of you have heard accusations such as….”Why are you always spying on me?” “You are the one with the mental health problems, not me.” “People have told me about you!” All confessions of their sagging self-esteem.

The projection of “Why are you always spying on me?” is a direct admission of what they are doing to you! They have been doing it all along without your knowledge at first. They search you on the internet they gather as much information about you as possible. They go on social media, they find out who your friends are there. They setup false accounts and send you friend requests. They find out your hobbies and interests so they can “shape shift.” In much the same way a chameleon can adapt to its surroundings a narcissist can remold themselves to your interests and likes in the love bombing stage.

In short they spy on you constantly and they will do so until the discard stage (whether it’s you doing the discarding or them.) Just be aware they are the one’s doing the surveillance, not you!

In my case the narc dragged me back into court claiming I was in contempt of court for violating a peace order for doing surveillance on him. But after presenting many photographs that he took of me INSIDE my home the Judge finally started to realize that the narc was the one doing the spying on me, admonished him, and dismissed the case.

In my state along with 12 others have what they are known as Two Party Consent States which means they need the consent of both parties to record, video, or photograph another person when there is an expectation of privacy, ( especially inside the curtilage of their own home.) You might want to look into those laws in your home state.

You should also look into the definition of stalking laws in your state also as they vary from state to state. And above all…document, document, document, it’s your best defense against the narcissist, because they always trip up eventually with their lies.

Oh and Happy St. Patricks Day!